There must be a 12-Step Program

To save you all much time and humiliation (at watching Fox’s American Idol) I will publicly humiliate myself (by admitting I watch the show) and give you a rundown on the last 8 contestants and what title they *should* win:
Joshua Gracin – Private First Class Idol; see also: Country Idol, Wet Blanket Idol
Clay Aiken – Band Camp Idol; may also be known as Broadway Idol
Carmen Rasmusen – Ho hum Idol; Teen Idol
Kimberly Caldwell – American Beauty Idol; also One Trick Pony Idol
Kimberley Locke – Lane Bryant Idol; Such a Beautiful Face Idol; “If Only She were 115 lbs” Idol
Rickey Smith – Castridol or Caught-Himself-in-His-Zipper Idol
Trenyce – Penitentiary Idol (defacto winner since Corey Clark has been kicked off)
Ruben Studdard – American Idol or, as I prefer to call him, Barry Whidol

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