I am still up

I am still up. It is after midnight and I have done a bit of surfing. That’s really something I do not do a lot of any more. I used to feel quite bad about that, but now I am not so sure. From now on, I may just go to my dozen or so sites that I like to read and call it a day. It’s not that I do not want to see new sites and experience new things, it’s just that I feel the more I see, the less creative I can be. You know what I mean. Have you ever been formulating some idea in your head – even to the point where you were planning how you may do something and then, you innocently click on a link and there you have your idea realized. Maybe in a way you would have loved to have done it in? I think the same thing about writing. As I contemplate a more structured type of writing, essays and short stories, I almost fear to read more books. I can feel my writing style being affected with every book I read, just as my web design and project ideas are swayed and influenced by the sites I visit. I need to find a way to balance things.

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I haven’t forgotten to post about “what I learned” at SXSW, I’m just not ready is all.

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Question: Why do I get so angry (inside in my usual Minnesota way) at people who try to hand me religious literature?

Answer: I don’t know. From a logical perspective I recognize that if I truly believed in something so much I would want to tell people either via this site, in conversation, or yes even in propaganda form. My gut reaction however, is to say fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me. Really closer to what I am thinking is, that I hate when people presume to know something – some great truth that I do not. But that’s not really entirely it either. If Stephen Hawking was lecturing me on the nuances of black holes, you better believe I would accept him as having much more knowledge of the subject than me. No, there is something more – I just don’t know what it is. Am I still not over the arrogance I have had in thinking that God is a crutch for the weak? Those kind of statements have landed me in many a hot spot in the past – and I believe it much less than I did in the past – but do I still believe it a little all the same? I don’t know.

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