Uncomfortably numb

I am numb and have been since the first word of this tragedy came across my radio on my commute in to work last Tuesday. I feel like I should be angry or filled with sorrow, and I am in my thoughts. I just don’t *feel* it like I should. I wish I would have cried – yelled when I heard the news – but I was just sort of startled – but not even surprised. What is wrong with me? Am I afraid now? No. Should I be? Probably so, yes. If not for me then for the U.S. and other countries’ soldiers that will be fighting and dying in the coming months/years – for their families – for the Afghani people who have never wished this act on us but now may suffer for it. Sure there is some concern that biological or chemical weapons could be used on the American (or any) population, but that just doesn’t seem real. It should, I guess.

Besides numbness there is a feeling of helplessness overcoming me. An idea that I am awash in a tide whose course is predetermined and non-changeable – a tide unleashed by the American public and its allies in a united outcry, parroted back by the politicians and media (or is that the other way around?) and no matter what I may do or say we are all bound to crash into our “destiny” for better or worse – a destiny that could bring us into the most deadly war the world has ever seen. And to think, me, numb to it all.

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