There may be some reasons to ban football but…

…these are not among them:

  • Footballs used to be made out of real pigskin. PETA and other animal anti-cruelty groups should oppose these most despicable objects. They represent death in more ways than one.
  • People watching football eat unhealthy foods, especially teenagers.
  • Football artificial turf is not environmentally green. It merely gives the illusion of being a natural sport. Football is in reality most unnatural, and deadly.
  • Football scoreboards cause eyestrain, therefore further making football an unhealthy and unnatural sport.
  • Football fields are not metric. Another instance of American foulness and ignorance.
  • Most football insignia and mascots are politically incorrect and designed to promote hatred of other races or animals. There we find that the Deadly Sport really thrives on hatred.
  • Boys playing football are encouraged to slap each other on the butt. Here’s an article about a town that requires a license to dance, because “Dancing is one of those things that entices. It imitates sexual contact.”
  • The football industry lures even the smallest children into violence, by selling nerf footballs.
  • The football leagues have resisted every common sense effort to design a safer football. They persist in using bi-pointed forms, which not only can make someone blind, but has obvious phallic symbolism.

In fact, these are much more likely, the tongue-in-cheek ramblings of a crazy Frenchman, than sound reasons against football.

From this page at this site by the Citizens United Against Football. [source: Camworld]

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